Muneeb, 27

Really the best! This product just saved me $70.

Not gonna lie, it sits funny on my snatch. Is it my snatch? Did I order the wrong size? Who freakin’ knows! Do I care? Not really, because I still wear it all the time at work and dudes still buy lap dances from me. You know why? Because dudes don’t usually give a flying fudge if your cute pink teddy sits 'weird' on your freakin snatch.

What a waste of money. They're basic; real basic. My fault for not truly understanding what I was buying. It can answer some simple questions with simple answers and do a few smart home things and has 'skills' but that's about it. Isn't that enough? No, it isn't. I guess I thought I was getting something smart, something I could engage with, seek intelligent replies from, something connected to the world wide web of knowledge. Guess I was wrong. I got a stupid little automated squawk box; a borderline parrot. Guess I got bought. For all our great advances in technology, we're clearly still in our technological infancy. Get back to me when I can say 'Describe to me quantum physics in layman's terms. Explain to me the theory of relativity. What exactly is gravity; are there gravity particles? What is the meaning of life?' The answer to the latter better be: 42. Another big gripe is that it's constantly trying to sell me something -running through a whole dales pitch -instead of just doing or playing what I asked, or it tells me what it's about to do even though I just asked it exactly that. I'll be getting rid of it soon.